As I've been spending time reading the Bible, in prayer, and in sorting out life-stuff, I've begun to notice that my thoughts have become cloudier and cloudier. My mind bounces from one subject to another, I don't seem to find the "meat" of the subject as easily, and it takes me roughly three times as long to do/think through anything of that sort.
Now before you dismiss me as needing medication for ADD, know this: my diet & sleep schedule has been the same for the last six months, I have no other symptoms anywhere in life, and I think twenty-eight years old still qualifies on the "young" end of the spectrum, which hopefully shrugs off any possibilities of dementia.
What is it, then? Why am I having such a tough time digging into things?
In the thick of it the other day, I finally realized it. It was the enemy. God says that Satan will stop at nothing to try and outsmart us. If we think we know what angle he's going to attack us at, he'll switch it up and come from another angle. The master disguiser knows how to stay hidden while he messes with us.
I used to notice quite obviously when Satan began messing with my thoughts (especially during quiet time/prayer, but also throughout the entire day). My senses were heightened to how he was trying to throw me off. I then began to sense for a while that I wasn't getting attacked anymore, which I was pretty excited about. As I look back now, though, I shouldn't have gotten excited that he retreated... I should've been on the lookout for how he was going to come at me next.
Thank God for showing me that when I'm in the secret place with Him, being filled with who He is, the enemy was sneakily trying to toss me off. We are told to trust and have faith in His power, which means that we aren't simply playing defense against Satan - we have a STRONG OFFENSE. Prayer, trust, and forward motion (i.e. not letting the struggle stop you from doing what you're doing!) are how we are to, with God's strength, bowl through the enemy's obstacles.
I hope this doesn't sound like I think Satan has more power than he does in comparison to the Lord. But the truth is, if it weren't for Jesus' rescue of me and the presence of God's Spirit in me, Satan would have a FIELD DAY with me. Before I was 100% the Lord's, Satan DID have a field day with me. But now I rest in much mightier Hands.
I hope this comes as an encouragement to those who are maybe having difficulty navigating through their personal time with the Lord. If you're being distracted, it very well might be an enemy attack. Know that 1) God is greater, 2) obviously you're doing what God wants you to be doing, since the enemy is spending his time & energy on messing with you!, and 3) if you press through, God will honor your faith in His strength which undoubtedly crushes Satan's strength. The enemy is NO MATCH for our God.
I'll probably dwell on this more and write more about it in the near future, but I'll leave it sit at that for now. Many blessings on your weekend, everyone!