I am one of fourteen-bazillion writers in the blogosphere.  
There are tons of sites with more page-views than mine.
There are tons of people who have more interesting things to say than me.

So... should I stop?

Absolutely not. God's been teaching me a lot about what having a holistic view of life in Him means.  Having a holistic view of this life means that the focus on my life disappears, and instead I focus on the "whole" (God's plan for our entire universe).  Holistic living is completely contrary to how our sinful selves are programmed by the world to work (...we like to think about/provide for/protect ourselves like crazy), but it's what God calls us to (see Philippians 1:12-14).  

I've taken an honest look at my heart... and I've realized that I have very much not been living with the "whole" in mind.  
- I've gotten jealous when I see other artists sign a record deal, land a big show, or sign on as worship pastor at a big church.  
- I get frustrated when I see people get studio recording jobs that I think I'm "better-qualified" for (which also means that I'm placing myself above others in a prideful way).  
- I worry about my own record sales, album reviews, and yes, blog page-views... somehow convincing myself that bigger numbers means that I'm being more effective in ministry.

Long story short, my inner heart is much more concerned with "self" rather than "whole".  It'd be safe to call me anti-holistic.  This is what God is gutting out of me.  

Should my concern be about "standing out"?  Not at all.  God's given each of us a part to play in the body of Christ.  I can't buy into the lie that, as of this moment, my level of ministry is a failure in His eyes.  I should be thrilled with the people who've been given the opportunity to reach thousands with the truth of Jesus, and be satisfied with the portion of those thousands that He empowers me to minister to.  I'm a part of the holistic movement for Jesus.  I'm not the movement... I'm a part of the movement.

So, saying crazy things or trying to stir controversy for the sake of standing out is aimed at the wrong goal.  (Of course, being honest with biblical truth will always stir controversy somewhere... but that's a whole 'nother blog entry in and of itself.)

Be praying for the continued forming of my heart to being holistic in everything that I do.  Jesus, it's about You.  Not me.

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