Today's entry went something like this:
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him..." (John 6:44)
When God begins to draw me to Himself, the problem of my will comes in immediately. Will I come to Him? Will I commit, placing myself completely and absolutely on God, and be willing to act solely on what He says? If I will, I will find that I am grounded on reality as certain as God's throne.
I must place no confidence in my own works, but only in God. Trusting in my own mental understanding becomes a hindrance to complete trust in God. I must surrender myself completely to God. (emphasis mine)
First of all, this is a huge encouragement to me & Kait. God's been continuing to pull us through a process that is only explainable by Him, and we are determined to act solely on what He says. To some people, some who even call themselves Christians, we look crazy. That's disappointing to me. It's not really disappointing in the sense that we don't have their support, encouragement, and prayer... it's disappointing in the sense that they claim to have absolute faith in Jesus, but when asked to live it out in a very real and tangible way, they go back on their word. Our responsibility is to God, not to man. Whether or not we look crazy to you isn't really a concern of ours.
Secondly, I have to continue learning just what it means to stop "trusting in my own mental understanding," because I am severely limiting God's work in my life if I insist on being able to understand everything that He's up to. I don't want to get comfortable with the small bit that I know about Him. I want to keep allowing Him to expanding me past what I know of Him today. I want Him to tear down the incorrect walls that I've put up in my heart and head. I want the death of my wrong convictions about Him, and life to what He wants to share with me.
I won't take this any further... Oswald's words speak much greater than my own. Dwell on his meditation on the Bible, and see what God wants to sort out through you.
What's He calling you to do?