Be Me.

12/20/2010

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Merry Christmas-week to everyone!  Kait & I have already been to a couple family celebrations, and we have a few more in the pipeline as well.  Along with a couple Christmas Eve services and plenty of hours behind the wheel, it's looking to be a busy but fantastic season of celebrating the debut of God in the flesh on earth.

Isn't it great when He shows up in extremely unexpected ways?  ...Yeah, I think so too.

I was working on my classes this morning, and I hit an assignment that looked like it'd been written by a two-century-old dictionary.  It basically was a bunch of fifty-dollar-words strung together, which made me feel like the author was getting paid based on how many times he confused his readers.  I felt pretty, well...not smart.

At the same time, there was some ridiculously catchy music being piped through the coffee-shop speakers.  The muted drum groove and melody were syncopated and way cool.  I couldn't get it out of my head.  I took it as a reminder from God that He's created me with a set of skills as a member of His Body that no textbook or overly-well-written article will ever trump.  

So, of course, I totally stopped focusing on studying and instead focused on songwriting.  I was trying to figure out how a few recent ideas would translate into songs for the next album or other projects.  And immediately I started thinking the same thing that I've had go through my head every time I've written material, well, ever: "What will [insert random friend/musician/church member/artist/audience member name here] think of this new chord change/rhythm/melody/lyric?"  

Or, in other words, "What will they think of what I create?"  

And it hit me: I will never be satisfied with how a single song turns out if I keep asking myself this question.  Because, no matter what, there will always be someone who doesn't agree with some decision I make.  But in the midst of this, God said to me, 

"You are not here to fulfill their expectations of you.  
You are here to fulfill My expectations of you.  
Go.  
Create.
Be you."

We aren't all the same limb or organ in the body of Christ.  We all have a distinct purpose.  I'm done believing the deception that I have to meet the approval of people around me with my work before I meet the approval of God with my work.  After all, He's much more interested in my satisfaction of simply being with Him instead of trying to do a bunch of .  I simply need to take this work that He brings through me, offer it to Him, and let Him do what He wants with it.  Whether that means it'll spread like wildfire throughout the nations or that it'll never been seen by a single soul isn't the point.  

I'm going to be me.

Are you you?



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